Auld Lang Syne

So....I don't believe in New Years Resolutions. At all.

There...I said it.

In 2005 when I decided to join Weight Watchers Online and started down the road of losing more than 100 pounds...it was not December 31st. Or January 1st. It was September 15th. 10:30 pm on a Thursday. I didn't get up the next day and watch the Rose Parade. I got up and went to work. And kept track of what I ate. And then went for a walk that night.

For a life-changing...and probably life-saving....event, it was pretty undramatic. I didn't even tell anyone for several weeks.

So...here's the thing. January 1 is just a day. Like any other day. And, in fact, it will come again a year from now, regardless of how you spend the intervening 365 days.

Just do it. Whatever it is that you want to do. I don't care if it's losing 10 (or 100) pounds, getting your financial affairs in order, cleaning out your cupboards, learning to make pie, or cleaning your bathroom...

Do it. Don't think too much about it...because you'll think up excuses not to. Dive in, and contemplate/learn/strategize later...once you're too far in to give up! I've learned some things in this department....I'm not a leaper by nature. At all. I stew over most major decisions long after they need be stewed over. But the big things? The things that are far too scary to contemplate? You should probably just start them...and contemplate as you go. Regret is a bitch.

So...while I don't believe in New Years Resolutions...I do believe in goals. Set them. Make them specific. And then go after them. I'm also not above using a natural reset point, like a new year, as a springboard toward those goals....and as a chance to reflect on how things are going. So...I will.

2012 was a crappy year in my life. The optimist in me would like to say that it was a "growth year," but...it was truly crappy. My aunt died. In attempting to deal with a long standing (non-serious, but annoying) health issue...I was put on medication that made me...well....crazy....for a significant portion of the year. I acknowledged, and began to deal with, the fact that I have an eating disorder. And...in the midst of all of this...I was learning how to not suck at a very demanding job.

Yeah. Not a lot of fun (though there was some fun). Health/weight loss/fitness took a back seat to dealing with the day-to-day (and often...was shoved in the trunk).

At the same time...it's years like 2012 that help you to realize the important things. I have a family that loves me tremendously, so much that they were willing to call me out when they knew something was wrong. (Clues being the over-exercising, the compulsive food weighing/measuring, the bags under my eyes, the look of complete exhaustion, and general bitchiness.) I have, without question...hands down...absolutely the best friends in the world...and they've stuck by me when it probably wasn't much fun to be my friend. I have a job that challenges me every day, and I get to work with incredibly talented people. And...I've learned a lot about myself and the world. That knowledge didn't come without cost (like new, slightly larger pants)...but it never does.

So....what are my goals for 2013 and beyond?

1. Have more fun. (This is vague. I'm guessing it will require more spontaneity, which is hard for type-A lawyers...or...at least this type-A lawyer...but I'm going to do my best. I might already be failing at the spontaneity thing by putting it in a list. Damn it.)
2. Get back my 2010/2011 level of fitness...and do it in a healthy, non-crazy, way. (More specifics about this soon!)
3. Enjoy the good stuff more. (Again...sort of vague. But I feel like I've spent a year rushing through the good stuff...waiting for the next shoe to drop. There's always another shoe. Why give it any more of your energy than necessary?)

These might seem like no-brainers...but...such is life. I want 2013 to be a year full of health, time with friends and family, and good work. For all of us.

What was going to be a short/sweet/to the point post has turned into a rambling mess. I hope there's something interesting in here. :-)

I wish you all the good things...

Erin

PS- Have a safe and fun New Years Eve!